R. Kelly Allowed Black Twitter to Ask Him Anything- Why the Hell Did He Do That?

Okay, so no, R. Kelly's PR person didn't commit suicide (that I'm aware of), but I'm pretty sure that where ever he or she is, they've pretty much changed R. Kelly's Twitter password so he can no longer embarrass himself. As the title suggested, R. Kelly recently took to Twitter to announce an #AskRkelly hashtag and black Twitter took to it to do what black Twitter does; humiliate people and annihilate happiness.

Don't get me wrong now, I love (plain) Twitter as a voice and as a vehicle, but let's keep it 100 here, black Twitter is the work of  the DEVIL. For those unaware of black Twitter, it is pretty much the most sarcastic brown people on Twitter that occasionally come together to clown someone. The public can be a fickle thing in terms of who they choose to celebrate and forgive, and while R. Kelly has been able to somewhat hold his head high after that whole "peeing on prepubescent girls" thing he appears to like to do, apparently black Twitter (nor has much of America) been nearly as forgiving.

I have to admit, the whole thing bugged me. No matter how you slice it, he's a pedophile and making good music will never change that. Him allowing the public to ask him questions suggested that he believes his major sin (and obvious predilection for girls old enough to still require afternoon naps) has or should have been forgotten. But I'm quite proud of black Twitter because not only were they smart enough to drag him to hell and back for being a pied pisser and his undeniable attraction to female zygotes, they also made sure to mention his inability to formulate proper sentences and his desire to dress like a homeless 14-year-old.

Here is a sample of some of the brutal and beautiful humor that black Twitter has to offer:

So @rkelly only answered 16 questions, the perv really cannot do anything over 18 #AskRkelly

Robert Kelly can't even read your questions, Twitter. They all look like a series of Wingdings to him.

Do you keep the fridge stocked with Lunchables just in case "company" comes over? #AskRKelly

#AskRKelly Is it true you refuse going to any McDonald’s that doesn’t have a PlayPlace inside it?

When you said that she reminded you of your Jeep, was it a Power Wheel? #AskRkelly

Were you trapped in the closet because her parents came in the room? #AskRKelly

What is your mind and body telling you now? #AskRKelly is it saying "I'm too old for this shit?"

#AskRKelly So do you plan a special candlit afternoon on Early Relase day?

#AskRKelly Why do you dress like a teenager? Is it to… Nevermind

#AskRKelly Is your shower gold-plated? wait... I mean do- Is your shower golden? like, I guess I'm trying to say, do you like golden showers?

#AskRKelly how does it feel to be banned from PTA meetings?

Why didn't you name the album Black Pampers? #AskRkellly

And my all time favorite-

If you and @Fantasia had a spelling bee… whose head would explode first, #Rkelly? #AskRKellly

So there you have it folks, and believe me, there are hundreds more to choose from. Hopefully from this whole debacle, R. Kelly will learn to leave the typing to the professionals and leave the women he lusts after in the Nick Jr. Chat rooms where they belong.